Do you have the kind of mind that never gives you any rest because it constantly nags, criticises and hammers you with its incessant demands?  If so, it's likely that you experience quite a lot of anxiety and self-doubt as well, which is very common when you're stuck in an emotionally toxic workplace.  That's why I wanted to share this simple method of enjoying the benefits of mindfulness, even if you've not had any success with sitting meditation.

Do you struggle with a mind that never stops, hammering you with harsh thoughts, demands and self-criticism, never letting you rest or get a good night’s sleep? A busy, racing, out-of-control mind is the driver for all symptoms of anxiety and depression.  This is especially so if you've been the target of a workplace bully.  However, your first priority must now be taking care of your own emotional wellbeing. 

Targets of workplace bullying typically make three major mistakes that unbeknownst to them, has a massive negative impact on their mental health as well as any chance they might have of getting a favourable outcome from their situation.

The most powerful argument you can make to get rid of a workplace bully is to build a financial case for why this person is just too expensive to keep. Surprisingly, it is a strategy that is rarely, if ever used and cost of bullying calculators are hard to find, hence I have put together my own for you to use. A financial case will take some time to prepare and requires due diligence in collecting the evidence. However, it trumps an emotional argument every time.

If you’re stressed, depressed and dreading Mondays, you’re probably working in a toxic interpersonal environment that has started to take its toll on your physical and mental health.

Excuse me while I digress…  I am a Clinical Psychologist by profession and I started out with stars in my eyes, hoping I could help raise the consciousness of the planet.  However, when it came to doing business, I was utterly naïve, uneducated and had not the first clue about how to earn a living doing what I loved.

Emotional dumping is when you verbally offload the intense rage or fear you feel onto someone you think should care and fix it NOW.  For example, if you’ve been the target of workplace bullying, you might spew forth your outrage onto HR or senior managers, expecting them to do something but become even more upset when they react in an oppositional way. 

In your fight against workplace bullying, timing is EVERYTHING!

This is especially true if you are a "high-income" professional because you won't realise how unprotected you are either by the legislation or the unions until it's too late - so I really hope you read this first!

Your employer is going to hate me for telling you this.

The Timeline

Workplace bullying is probably one of the most expensive experiences you will endure.  It can cost you your job, mental and physical health, bankrupt you and in worse cases, even lead to suicide.

Large corporations have a strategy to get you fired once you’ve been bullied in the workplace.  It’s transparent to anyone who cares to look, but the company would rather keep it a secret.  It’s called “ambush firing”.

Bullying, it seems, pays off. Did you ever wonder why the bully gets away with it and even benefits with a promotion or other reward? Your gut feeling is correct; the boss really does prefer your bully to you.

Thoughts are powerful; they create your reality. Control your thoughts and you create your reality. A positive mindset begets positive end results. These popular tenets are espoused by the likes of Louise Hay, Napoleon Hill, Anthony Robbins and countless other self-help gurus.

The problem is, they don’t actually work. Consider the last time you really wanted something to happen. It could be a dream job, an ideal relationship or even a parking space in the city.

There is one secret to abundant business prosperity that only a handful of successful companies throughout the world seem to know. It is this: Human beings are hard-wired to be social, interconnected beings. Enduring success in business depends entirely on working with the flow of human life rather than against it.

If you are looking for a new job, or have just started one, it pays to read the signs of a bully-prone workplace early so that you can take adequate steps to protect yourself against bullying before it happens.

On January 1 this year in Australia, new anti-bullying legislation was introduced whereby workers can now apply to the Fair Work Commission (FWC) for an order to stop the bullying.  Once an application has been received, the FWC has 14 days in which to respond with an investigation of the complaint.  Legislators expected an overwhelming demand given that bullying affects over thirty percent (three million plus) of Australian workers and costs the economy between six and 36 billion dollars per annum.

Mobbing is “bullying on steroids”, a horrifying new trend whereby a bully enlists co-workers to collude in a relentless campaign of psychological terror against a hapless target.  It usually starts out with a bully targeting a victim and enlisting the help of others to collude with him in the bullying.  Targets are usually anyone who is “different” from the organizational norm.  Usually victims are competent, educated, resilient, outspoken, challenge the status quo, are more empathic or attractive and tend to be women, aged 32 to 55.  Targets can also be racially different or part of a minority group.
 

Holidays from work can elicit relief and dread in equal measure when you know you’ll be going back to a co-worker with a personality disorder who seems to suck the air right out of the room and drains you dry – in other words an “energy vampire.”

Have you ever had the experience of having the life sucked out of you when being around a particular person for any length of time?  I’m talking about feeling exhausted, bored, irritated, stressed, anxious, threatened, overwhelmed or depressed after just a few moments in that person’s company.  If so, there may have been times where you feel guilty for your reactions or for having negative thoughts about that person – which makes you feel even worse.  You may even attribute your low mood to: “there’s something “wrong” with me” – like feeling a headache coming on or stressing over a work deadline.  Either way, it’s not clear to you why you feel so out of sorts.

He’s raging again.  Getting right in your face, making wild accusations, attacking, criticising and blaming everyone else except himself.  Every time he loses it, and it happens a lot, it feels interminable, like being trapped in an endless cycle of being someone else’s punching bag.  It’s exhausting, upsetting, infuriating and you don’t know how much you can take or what to do, you just want it to stop.

What is good mental health?  It is the ability to be fully in reality as it is, without requiring it to be anything other than it is right now.  Having this ability ensures that you respond appropriately to situations, with the right kind of emotion and at the right level of intensity.  Over time, being fully present to reality as it is now generates a stable sense of self that is non-reactive, doesn’t take things personally and greets each day with a calm, clear, light and joyful eagerness.